Misery

Painting by Claude Monet; "Impression, soleil levant"

Misery. Miserable. what a great mourning. what a wonderful waste of time; being pathetic. It's obvious to me. it's obvious that i actually love being miserable. like i've left something behind, but reluctant to come back... it's like, i haven't finished my story yet... it's basically, procrastination. i am procrastinating my feet to walk straightly forward. but there's always this annoying U-turn as i start to let it go. 

And now that i've realized what a waste of life I've been, it makes me think that it's okay to be like this. i am not leaving now. i am not trying to. not now, not yet.

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