Grey

Dear feelings,

I am tired of polishing my nails in the morning, while you in the other side making me thinking of chocolate. The internet told me that chocolate, fruits, and sports make people happy. Feelings, you let me fall deep in hope and you make me crawl to achieve, what I hope for. I've been up there, and I've been down there. Sometimes, I barely know what I should feel. I can barely get hurt now. Things are quiet predictable, not to mention I am challenging life to give me surprise... It's just that, I used to be inspired by feelings. Now I just get inspired by thoughts. My brain plays more than my heart. Is it because I have been doing the same things all over again that they get boring? Feelings, I've been trying to be neutral, tranquil as possible, now I am stuck deep within the tranquility. Confused. Confused. Confused. I don't know what to write. I am confused. Is happy... the chocolate gives me is important? Is sadness really bad? Is nothingness wrong? 

Dear feelings, I'm not ready to feel again.