Self-talking

Monday morning. I have just prepared myself to go back to college. Everything is packed but myself. Mother was busy picking clothes for me to this vacation I'm about to go to. And she knew I was s not excited until she told me to open my suitcase which was full of clothes she picked. 

They were beautiful. They are beautiful. I found it funny how God wanted me to get closer to him by showing his love through one thing I love; fashion. It feels really phenomenal. And I think I'm ready to go, to you know... to get such a revelation.

I have a boyfriend now, and he's the coolest guy I know after my grandpa, my dad, and my uncle Radif. He's like, the boy version of me. We went out yesterday. We were looking for 120 film, the uh the analogue film. We drove to the south part of Jakarta for nothing. We didn't find it. And we took the bus and we took another bus, running, just like in those movies, and we took pictures, and we saw things differently, and we ended up watching Penguins of Madagascar. How I love randomness.

I remember my old friend, who lives in the desert, fighting his rights, or maybe he's doing nothing. And I remember my old friend, who lives in the farm, having a lot of cows, playing hide and seek, or maybe, her cows are dead now and she's stuck in the city. Remembering things, funny things, good things, without knowing if they're still good or still funny, I keep presuming they stay the same though.

I miss watching my favorite TV shows. funny ones, cool ones, inspiring ones. And  I have to do a stand up comedy for my public-speaking test. So stressing out. But what the hell. Currently, I'm really grateful for what I have now. I'm loving myself, and my life, and what I do. I think I've become completely human.