The Unspoken

Dear someone who stayed, 

If, I had written it in Bahasa, your brain wouldn't have to work twice; read and translate. But since you have put me way too high, and pushed me way too.. deep, too far, down here. I guess your brain deserves to be, stressed. Honestly, when I first met you. I thought, "what an asshole." I honestly, didn't want to even get involved in anything with you. But there we first met. It was Thursday. I didn't even know your name, until your friend called you. ah, so that's your name.

I didn't even want to talk to you, or to get your attention, or to be driven home by you. As I was... obviously, keeping my eyes on your, pal. You and I, we worked together kinda. We didn't do many things together. Until when our job is over, you, texted me, expressing your gratitude for my "sincere" assistance. haha "sincere". And I said, "oh no probs. good luck with your future."

I thought you'd just, end it.

No, you kept on going. We talked. until my cell phone messed up. 

And I thought, that was just one night conversation, until you started to talk the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next, wonderful 1 month. 

And we went out. Just you, and me. And my mother had already sensed, that you'd be such a trouble for me. But I ignored her. You left me there, at the cinema. That's how you ended our date or whatever it was. Then I went to Starbucks cafe. To wait for my mom to pick me up. cause you were such a gentleman you left me there, alone. Haha. Then you texted, "Thanks for today. don't smoke in starbucks."

Then we kept on going. the better you know me, the worse you state your act on me. You started to be mean. and trying to break the decorum. Fuck. I prayed to God, every day. Begging Him, that you'd not leave me by in the end. Every fucking day I prayed.

Another month passed by. Another month passed by. I started to get used to speak to you everyday. And it saddens me, that you don't speak to me everyday as nice as you did, as comforting as you did back then. You started to speak to me less, as I lost my cell phone. I missed you a lot. like, a super lot. Then when i got a new celly, you were being like you didn't even want to talk to me. And you, talked to my best friend instead to cure your boredom.

I shouldn't be writing this. But it's my blog. Three months I put my trusts in you, yet you couldn't even see, how vulnerable I have been. Hopes I've hung on you, were all wrong. And in the end, you left. God didn't grant my wish. But He always has better things to give. I am pretty sure of it. I know you're not going to read it. but once you are. Once again I say, Good luck with your future.

Good bye.