Monday, April 24, 2017

Getting Used to It.

So here's what's been going on with my life:
Today, I have to do this. Tomorrow, I will have to do that, Next week, next month, idem. My shortness of breath, dizziness, beating veins, all of this, dynamic, mechanical body of mine; ticking like the time, trying to race it. Sometimes I feel like, I want to explode, but actually, not anymore. I am grateful that I always have someone to talk to, whether it's my friend or my boyfriend, or just, random acquaintance that I meet during one random event. So I kind of, paused everything I've been doing and I started to think.

What am I doing?

But then there's this person who gave me an answer. Well he said,
"You don't have the rights to miss your childhood or wish you life would be as nice or as easy as your childhood back then. It's a phase, a transition. You just have to get used to it."

Those words, oh boy, "get used to it".

"Do you know how the poorest people can live throughout the years? They get used to it. Nothing is ever gonna be hard all the time, if you adapt." he went on. "All of this 'I don't have enough time' or 'time is running out of you' drama is just a form of you adapting to your new routine. Besides, with all this 'not enough time' kind of life you're living, it makes you value the time you have even more, don't you think? Say you agree."

I have been feeling so scared that I might not be able to pursue my dreams. I have been feeling so scared that I have to drink at least one cup of coffee everyday to make me feel energized. But I don't think it's the answer anymore. I don't have to afraid at all because I'm getting used to it. 

oui, c'est vrai. c'est la vie dynamique, mon cheri. c'est la vie, afterall.

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