Sunday, June 30, 2013

Folks on My 3rd Day of UIFW

I met some people at UIFW on Saturday. They were very nice, and very inspiring. They inspired me by showing me, there was never a limittation for you to be successful, and to be out of your box. The first picture is me and the winner of Abang None North Jakarta. and the second picture.. well, that's Raka, from VnS, and his girlfriend, Zetta, Gadis Sampul 2011.
This is Argi. He's a broadcaster on Oz Radio, and also a designer of Legal&Crime. It was a pleasure meeting you all. Great job, UIFW, Hope I will see you all again next year<3

3rd Day of UIFW, section 3. "Pimping Denim"

Section 3, "Pimping Denim" is actually a fashion show which based on UIFW orginal concept. this show was opened by the girls from Green Sands. They performed their catwalks wearing these "edited" Green Sands t-shirts. This section showed collections from Brandley, Elvacka, and Ennyjeans(not sure of the name).
They were showing jeans, and t-shirts, until... the last fashion show started. These guys came out with skinny jeans in various colors and white t-shirt in a parade. and then they went back into the backstage, and they came out again, shirtless! I was gasping and shocked. But unfortunately, the audiences weren't hysterical. Though I wanted them to be hysterical. -_- so yeah, the last fashion show was so sick I wish people would've been as, euphoric as I had expected before. :/

3rd day of UIFW, section 2. "Acculturation"

The second section was all about Acculturation. In sociology, I learned that acculturation is a process of culture combination where the comer culture won't erase the indigeneous culture. In economy, it's like, complementary. so yeah, this section for me, is all about modernism working together with the traditionals.
This show was opened by the traditional dancers, from the University of Indonesia, called "KTF". They performed this one dance from Betawi. It's pretty unique because this is the very first fashion show that'd actually invite traditional dancers to perform on the runway. 
This section showed 3 collections, those are Tahira Batik, Cultura by Maulana, and Chopin Java.

Sunday, June 23, 2013


Dear readers,

In order to welcome the holy month "Ramadhan", I, as such a complaining writer, am sorry for the bad things I have told or done in whether unconscious or conscious acts. May Allah bless us all. 

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan.


I watched my sister graduating from elementary school on Friday. The students seemed so smart, so planned, so having bright future ahead. But then I realized that some of them would end up just like me. I was one of the best student in kindergarten, and elementary. I got accepted in one of the best public middle school in Indonesia, starting the first 2 years so great, and then I messed up my third year, and now here I am, in a social faculty, in this ugly public high school, being so clueless about my future, being so hopeless of getting accepted in one of the most wanted university. When I take a second to glance at my past, at my elementary years, I would find that little me, really invincible, really happy, really ready to make plan b, c, d, e, etc. Now I look at me, in my own thoughts. I see a loser, an unconscious dreamer who doesn't want to wake up. Who is just, a failure that mortifies anything and anyone around her.


Last week, my friends and I went to Puncak West Java, to take pictures with sunrise, in order to create a cover of our annual school party and championship "Sparctix". It was such a great experience. We left from Jakarta at 12 am, and we arrived in Puncak, specifically we arrived in this mosque on top of the mountain, and we ate ginger cereal... "sekoteng" in the parking lot. The wind was blowing real hard. It was so cold that night. We left to find the location at 3 am, and we arrived in this hill where we took pictures at around 4 am. We explored the location. At around 4:30, the red light started to show, yellow light mixed with pink and purple, all the sun's reflection was becoming so various and various. We took pictures as the lights suited the scenery and the camera. We took pictures there, and those pictures above, were two of the pictures we have taken. at around 6:30, we left to visit another location. We arrived at 7:30 in the second location. we took some pictures again, and then we finally went back home to Jakarta. As you read my post, this trip might seemed so.. so-so. But for me it was super fun. My favorite part is when I got to eat sekoteng with my friends, and figuring the concepts of the pictures, it was amazing. Honestly, I didn't go with super close friends. Only the girls I know very well, but the boys... I don't know them that well, but still, I felt really comfortable, and relax. A midnight trip to West Java to capture sunrise... Paradise.

Saturday, June 22, 2013


Happy Birthday Jakarta! Kota yang paling cocok buat belagu-belaguan. Orang yang naik mobil belagu, pejalan kaki juga bisa belagu. Hal ini baru gue sadari kemaren malem. Gue baru pulang dari ngerayain ulang tahun Resist yang ke 7 kalo gak salah. Hehe. Foto di sebelah kanan ini, foto gue lagi konvoi. Ini konvoi pertama gue pake motor. biasanya gue nebeng mobil temen gue, tapi kemaren gue mau nyobain naik motor, so yep. Mulai konvoi, kita udah dapet bad feedback dari masyarakat setempat karena kita menutup jalan untuk beberapa saat. Yang dipikirin di otak gue, cuma anggapan kalo ya so what gitu loh kemaren toh ulang tahun Jakarta, kapan lagi seneng-seneng, kapan lagi teriak-teriak naik motor, gak ngertiin anak muda banget sih! Yeu dasar orang tua bangkot bau gak ada semangat hidupnya ahahahah. Well in the other side, orang tua itu mungkin mikir, kalo kita ngerepotin banget, kita bikin macet dan lain-lain. Mulai lah gue berpikir kalo Jakarta tuh tempat yang pas buat jadi orang belagu. Happy birthday Jakartaku<3


So here it is. The final of everything. I still believe that every wreckage is made to be built again. Sometimes you can't build it alone. Some people just don't believe the causity theory. Some people just want to leave the wreckage until it rots itself automatically, leaving it all to the universe, make it a business to no one but nature itself. Stalemate, in sociology I would learn about. In economy, we can connect it to the marvelous Gossen Law, number one. In life, we call it, move on.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

45.15 out of 100
I got 45.15 on math test. 
Can any monkey dummier than me?
Haha, cheers.


Nocturnal thoughts in Saturday night. Came along with the nasty, nasty truth. Everything good, is made to be bad. The better it gets, the worse it feels, vice versa. And of course, everything bad, is made to be good. But once again, the better it gets, the worse it feels, vice versa. I don't know in which way I am right now. But, I am feeling worse, so I guess the better it gets for me. As far as I know, life likes to play tricks. And they're exhausting. 



Once, I had known this guy named Marc, we were exchanging music. And he gave me, this german song, "Der Preis des Lebens" The price of life. As I read its lyrics, and as I tried to translate them, I found this line on the chorus, "Der Preis des Lebens ist der Tod". It says, the price of life is death.
If I set my brain to stop being lazy and think long way back to the ancient times, we human, we know we all will die. Kidneys will pop up, brain will sink, lungs will get wet, tongue won't be able to speak, neck won't be able to nod. God is like, a farmer, and we're like his chickens... being alive only to be sent to death when the time comes. God himself told us, nothing is made as a wreckage. Yet, in the end, we all won't matter at all. So maybe Bohse Onkelz, the german band was right. "Der Preis des Lebens ist der Tod" 

Untuk Gary


Waktu itu kita ketemu setelah gue menang lomba nulis puisi. Ibu seneng gue menang, Bapak juga seneng, Bu Neni seneng, Kak Icha seneng, semua seneng. Gue seneng. Mungkin kalau sekarang kita berpapasan di jalan, lo gak bakal kenalin gue, Gary. Gue juga gak bakal kenalin lo. Sejauh yang gue inget, mungkin itu moment terseneng gue sebelum gue, gak seneng. Waktu itu gue ketemu sama Amy juga. Amy yang pake kacamata, dan Gary yang pake kaos putih. Gue dulu suka main basket. Suka, banget. Gue ambil bola di deket tempat penginapan itu, dan gue mulai main sendirian... Gak lama setelah itu, lo sama Amy dateng ke lapangan. "Mau main bareng?" kata salah satu dari lo berdua.
Tentu. Waktu itu gue baru bisa belajar lay up. "Namaku Gary." lo bilang. "Namaku Amy" lanjut Amy.
"Aku Fidy" kata gue.
Terus kita bertiga pun main. Seru banget. Gue lupa gue tim siapa. Tapi gue tau itu seru banget. Seru. Gue dulu suka keringetan. Gue suka main basket, gue suka nari, gue suka nyanyi, gue suka banyak hal, gue sering excited. Waktu kita bertiga main, tiba-tiba Amy gak sengaja ngedorong gue. Terus kaki gue baret kena aspal dan berdarah.
"Gak papa kan?" tanya salah satu dari lo berdua. Gue gapapa. Itu seru.
Kita lanjut main, sampe bolanya jatuh ke jalanan, tergelinding jauh, dan mereka harus pergi mencari. Waktu mereka nyari bola, gue disuruh mandi sama Ibu. Dan gue mandi. 
Amy, mungkin kalo lo gak ngedorong gue, judul post ini bakalan "Gary dan Amy" tapi... gara-gara lo ngedorong gue, Gary aja.
Keesokan paginya, gue semangat banget mau main basket lagi. Tapi Gary dan Amy belum bangun. Sebelum pulang, gue ketemu Gary,  terus gue bilang, "Udah ketemu belom bolanya?"
Gary bilang. "Udah! Jauh banget perginya!"
Itulah kata-kata terakhir yang menutup hari main basket seru sama kalian. Gue pengen sekali lagi ketemu sama kalian. Mungkin kalian berdua udah lulus kuliah, mungkin udah kerja, mungkin udah married. Gue cuma pengen inget sekali lagi gimana rasanya, seseneng dulu. Seiring waktu berjalan, gue masuk SMP, dan sekarang SMA. Gak pernah gue seseneng itu lagi. Gue bakal terus berdo'a buat lo berdua.

Semoga kita bertiga ketemu lagi,

Dedicated to My Mum

Dear Mum,

Thinking about how strong you are, how hard-working you are, I regret my own self for not inheriting those attitudes from you. None of your children did. I tried, but that's just not me. I don't like cleaning up the house, I don't like sweeping, doing laundry, wiping dust, I like re organizing my cupboard, and my "miniature" collections on my bookshelf. But to be the most honest of me, I will try, so hard to make you see that I am the miniature of you, that I am the hard working cleaning addicted like you. Because eventually you will appreciate me when I am tired. And I will try to be tired everyday so you will stop complaining how dusty my room is, or how bad my grades, or how whiny I can get, or how desperate I can get. I will try being tired, or just pretending that I've done enough to make me tired. what for? Only to make you happy. If seeing me tired, exhausted, full of fatigue, you will be happy, won't you. To be the most honest of me right now, I don't feel well. Indeed, I am really tired. I love you. 


Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Besok saya UAS loh. Mohon do'anya.
Tuhan memberkati.

11th grade.

It's been one year, learning as a social student. Sometimes I could feel so dumb I couldn't even make it to science class, but sometimes I could feel so glad, knowing that science people can be so logical they forget to consider their heart when they think. It's been a wonderful, school time, despite of all... dramas, and problems, and issues we had. I am so glad that it'll be over, and we're gonna be in 12th grade, and I'm sad knowing that we'll be busy with studies and preparations for colleges. But anyways. I'm so glad I got the chance to feel like other 11th graders would feel.


Dari Putri. Kitkat dari Putri. Super lelah sama yang namanya beginian; hal-hal yang bikin kita semua gak nyaman. Bukan kitkatnya, kitkatnya enak kok;) Tapi masaah-masalah yang gak jelas juntrungannya tuh yang bikin gak enakin banget. Terkadang, menghadapi masalah itu bisa bikin kita lupa tujuan kita itu apa. Sebelum kita punya masalah, pasti kita punya tujuan-tujuan yang kita pending dulu pas kita punya masalah. Sometimes problems can last so long you forget what you really wanted. And honestly, gue bener-bener nyesel mengesampingkan semua hal yang gue pengenin cuma gara-gara hal-hal kecil yang sebenernya gak penting.


Ah, gue mau cerita nih. Kemarin gue dipanggil guru Bahasa Inggris gue. Ceritanya, gue lagi nemenin temen gue, Windy ngumpulin tugas geografi di ruang guru. Nah, di situ guru Bahasa Inggris itu manggil gue. "Fidya!" pas denger suaranya aja udah deg-degan woy. Dia bilang nilai gue turun, terus gue bilang, "Ya terus gimana?" ya emang gak bisa diubah lagi kan. Telat komplainnya. Dia bilang, "Harusnya nilainya stabil, kek." ah. 

Ada lima belas mata pelajaran yang harus dipertahanin, ada lebih dari dua puluh guru yang harus gue turutin di sekolah, ada lebih dari seratus temen yang harus gue temenin juga, ada lebih dari seratus kakak kelas yang harus gue hormatin juga, ada lebih dari seratus adek kelas yang harus berbagi sekolah sama gue juga. Ada minimal dua puluh buku yang gue punya buat sekolah. Ada les perancis yang harus gue datengin plus baca 3 buku les, plus ngafalin konjugasi. Ada paling sedikit satu big problem yang gue jalanin setiap harinya, ada 365 hari setiap tahun. Ada puluhan event dalam dua bulan yang pengen gue datengin. Ada puluhan rencana di otak yang pengen gue taro di blog, ada puluhan rencana buat liburan. Ada masalah sama temen, gebetan, guru, keluarga, random people, ibu-ibu yang nabrak gue, orang-orang bau yang gak gue suka, mas-mas mcd yang kerjanya lama, orang-orang fanatik sama agama, semua orang yang pernah gue anggep jijik, yang udah nganggep gue jijik. Dan lo mau gue, mempertahankan lima belas mata pelajaran dengan lebih dari 20 buku despite all the problems that you even don't know about? Harus banget apa sekolah. Harus apa.


Oh my god. I had a simple stomach attack this morning. Well I have only eaten rice once this week, and I am reducing my weight. Tomorrow is going to be my final test week until next Thursday or next Friday. I just can't wait to be on vacation, I really can't. I have like, plenty of plans to do. I want to shoot pictures, and attend public events of June and July. I really really can't wait.

Sunday, June 2, 2013


This picture was taken in Taman Mini, located in East Jakarta. My friends and I visited there to do our sociology assignment. The truth is, the farther I am from home, the closer I feel to you. Define "You", only God would know. Such a nonsense that I even crave to be away from home. I crave to be away from everything that reminds me of me. The urge to have a strange feelings have actually integrated with my blood. Honestly, I like riding in a motorcycles at night, feeling the breeze, looking into the sky and feeling so close of something I have never found. So strange, yet so... promising.


It was Friday night. My friend and I were gussying up in this restroom, located in this lounge. Suddenly, a woman showed up. My friend told me that her name was Maya, but I wasn't sure. I'm still not sure. My friend was complaining about her hair looking so messy. Maya was looking at us with such a tolerant smile, Maya said, "It's okay, you're young and beautiful." 
That one phrase actually liberated me, resuscitated me, assured me that I was young, and beautiful. And I am still young. And she sounded to be saying that, as long as you're young and beautiful, everything will be okay. Seems like, everything can't be so scary as long as you're young. So I guess, don't be afraid as long as you're young. We're the wanted souls, we should not be afraid at all.


If only you could dig deeper, come closer, talk louder, ask nicer, maybe everything will be less worse. Funny shadows will follow you behind your back, whispering, maybe singing. Dreaming won't be so hard if you close your eyes, but you wouldn't. Afraid of getting such nightmares. Spill your blood in mine, maybe we can dig deeper, come closer, talk louder, ask nicer, maybe everything will be less worse, soon.


This is a self inflict. This grief. My friend told me that, normal bad feelings will only last for 13 minutes, if it lasts longer, it's a self-infliction. However, I've been trying to stop mourning, as the world seems to look worse than ever. But honestly, things haven't actually be fixed, so I just, let the grief flow. Or maybe, I let me flow in the grief. People have been away from me, close people. Some even have started to stop listening. So again, I just let myself flow in the grief until it gets bored and finally stops involving itself in such a grief.