Sunday, January 29, 2012

New Haircut.

What would Steven say? I haven't changed my facebook profile picture yet. I look like a mushroom head doh. i wanted to be cut like this though, but I look like a fucking mushroom now -_- 

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Kool Aid People.

I am attracted to kool-aid hair dyed people. for me it looks very, futuristic. hah. but it wont't fit for Indonesians I guess. because they'll look like... american-wannabe failures hahahaha. Anyways, I blame Kurt Cobain for this... "trend". What would steve say if I pinked my hair with kool aid? "Ghetto fidyyyy" doh. 

You, yeah you.

I couldn't sleep last night. I was thinking of you. I was also, calling you. but you didn't pick up the phone. I waited until eleven pm, but you didn't show up. I'm sorry I overreacted that day. but still, you should've not said that! you always ruin some incredible moments dohhh -_- this morning i checked my blog, and I knew you visited it at 10pm. but you didn't leave me a message like you would do everyday. I miss you. Get well really soon, steven vincent. Yo te amo :)

tu girasol,

Friday, January 27, 2012

Spare the animals.

Yesterday, I was on my way home. the weather was unbelievably hot. I was moody. When I began to open my house gate, this grey cat approached me and was about to sneak in to my house. I don't like cats, dogs, reptiles, amphibians, and other small animals... but i don't like animal exploitation nor animal abuse... so yeah. I was moody yesterday, i was pissed cause the sun was unfriendly, heating the whole city, so I screamed at it. "DON'T ENTER MY HOUSE!" it looked sad and it went away. but i didn't care. I began to sit on the sofa, and somehow, I started to think about the cat -_-. i was mean to it. it wasn't fair. I felt sooo guilty abruptly. I started to think what if it was dying and nobody would help it? 

So today, in this english class, i drew that poster... spare the animals. they're totally sinless and dumb as fuck. so give them food. you don't have to... pet them in your house. just give your inedible foods you know... they'll appreciate it. Now i have this urge to create "Lost animal shelters" in Jakarta to take care of those poor little creatures. they'll be taken care of us, me and my future team. so they wouldn't look sad and starving again. 


Thursday, January 26, 2012


Kay, sometimes American Tv shows could be very... addictive. So long-short, Annie and Liam are having a trouble, and this blonde bitch came. and liam started to like her. and she actually landed him over. a blonde bitch right? what a bitch doh doh doh. i hope she ends up die... die in the tv show doh. not like die as in real world. -_-

Monday, January 23, 2012

Forget about tomorrow

skins season 6 has started. Okay, I'm starting to remember the characters... Matty, Frankie,Minnie, Grace, that farmboy, richie, matty's brother... that nigger girl. who gives a damn shit about sociology test tomorrow? me_-. if steven found out, that i'd neglect school again... he'd say, "Study hard fidy, do your homework, blah blah." but steveeeen skins! duh! skins. do you get it? it's skins. skins season 6. not my favorite generation, but they still have frankie and matty. so yep. forget about tomorrowwwwwww


I miss Tumblr.
I started reblogging today.
Visit anytime you want.
I love you :*


Finished Hunger Games TRILOGY!


I finished the second book and the third book already! 
hahaha fuck you
I'm gonna see the movie on March, so fuck you, again.
You have no idea what the books are about?
fucking read them.
thanks to Peng for the recommendation. I owe ya!

Año Nuevo Chino

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! I am not chinese but yeah. I'm happy they're celebrating chinese new year here, I got one day off from school. But... tomorrow I'll still have sociology test, and math test in the following day. I'll still have economy in our first period, and music in our last period. so yeah. 
I said something weird today. I said something about eternity, and well, my conversation partner didn't take it... right. so I am the creep now. Yesterday I went to... my grandfather's brother's house, in this... small city near Jakarta. Actually, i don't know what to type... I got teenvogue december/january issue last month. and what weird is, the february issue is already on the store so yep. 
So once again, happy chinese new year! 

don't judge people by the size of their eyes:)

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I could've been, gone to Cramsisco and ditched my family at home, praying. 
Or I could've been gone to... Oceanside, Sacramento, or like anywhere in California with only 100 dollars in my wallet. with only five simple t-shirts, maybe I'd steal my sister's t-shirt with The Beatles photo on it. I'd steal my grandmother's blanket, and few medicines to keep me stay alive during my trip. I remember saying... "The farther I am from home, the closer I feel you." it was unbelievably corny, I think.
But I didn't do any of those things.
I don't think I could ever do that. 
Running away from home, buy a van, travel with people i want to travel with... like Steven, that gay Issa, that diet partner I had... Carley, Guilia,  maybe Leo and his girlfriend. Steven should come. Leo and his girlfriend should come too. at least I'll need someone who has a high IQ, and a nice, loving, Indonesian woman. Maybe We'll pick Santiago up from Mexico. hire him as our... disc jockey. HAH.
I'll buy a gun... like a small pistol, with simple-way-of-refilling-the-bullets. I'll learn how to shoot animals... we all will hunt. I'll kill a deer, Steven will do the cookings hah. Carley will help us to stay, skinny. Issa will make us clothes by leaves, and rattans, maybe pines.. Leo will be our scientist, and Ratih will be our mother. And Guilia... will be our italian teacher. 
What a life.
I keep looking for it. Life. I keep looking for the fantasy I've been keeping in my head.... making efforts to make it come true... But life, isn't something you look for. life is all about making decisions of what you're living. Like I said, I could've been gone to Cramsisco, and ditched my family. But I didn't. I could've been gone to Sacramento, Oceanside, or anywhere in California to meet people I'd like to meet, but I didn't choose that. And I blame myself for NOT choosing that. I don't think I could ever leave my family alone, but somehow I think I could never let me, staying here until I die. 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

It doesn't have to be so hard

and the phone suddenly  hung up.
and she cried, quietly. didn't want to wake everyone up. january 16 here, 17, there. she's missing the voice she heard, she misses him, more than she's ever done. and what lame is... he doesn't know.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

SO you presume triangle equals Illuminati
How about me, thinking a triangle is the whole fucking bucket of awesomeness?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Peeta (。◕‿◕。)

Okay. My friend Vania recommended that book. now the story haunts my mind every time. this is a book about one capital city (Capitol) that dominates other 14 district in this nation named Panem. Capitol is so wow, like wow. I think the city is pretty futuristic, and very high in technnology according to the description. while, other 13 cities are poor as fuck. no fucking electricity, no enough foods or anything. they. are. so. fucking poor. so District 13 tried to make a... riot, to make a rebellion. But Capitol was soooo tough, so they decided to destroy District 13. To remember the destruction of District 13, and also to remind those other districts that Capitol is dominating and also is powerful, they make this game.... Hunger Games. 
Every year, one girl and one boy from those other districts (1-2) have to participate in that game. You have to survive.. a.k.a you have to kill 23 participants to be a winner. there's this girl named Katniss and there's this guy named Peeta from district 12. the book actually tells us a story about them, participating in hunger games. It's a great book. and i think I'm in love with Peeta. I'm in love with my own Peeta... not that blonde guy who acts as peeta in the movie doh. 

Leben ohne dich

Two or three letters arrived. many sorrys, many yearnings. They don't mean anything. they don't fix anything. I've been curious plus anxious. I'm afraid you'd, disappoint me. Do you even remember me? I remember you. I always wait. You never come. I love you, but I don't think you still love me. me being with you, is like dreaming. you are oh so desirable, so close, but so far, it feels like i have you, but i actually don't have you. it makes me happy and frustrated at the same time. we're just so unreal, don't you think? we're so not us. 

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Boo ❤

"Mi amor que esta lejos pero cerca de mi corazon y todo las 

veces en mis pensamientos."

That. Perfect. Title. 

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Semester dua

The second chapter of my school life; second semester. 
I was having my lunch alone. I could still remember how I acted in 9th grade, how it was like to be free from those seniors, how it was like to walk whenever in your school... I could still remember how pathetic I was, how i acted to face my final exams... If I had studied more, I wouldn't be ended up like this.
It hurts my ears, really. it makes me angry whenever i hear that. people keep telling me that I don't belong here. but they're not making any effort to get me out of here. 
I didn't get into 28, you better stop asking why. 
Cause I didn't study hard, I fucked up, bienvenido a mi vida. 
there goes me, answering your question. i underlined it just in case you'd start to forget and ask me why again.
Steven said I was a down-syndrome lever score maker or something like that. he could've said that i was a lazy bastard. but the other one burnt better hah.
and now i'm posting this post... alone, there are no people around me right now. grades from the first semester didn't satisfy me that much. that means I fucked up again. I got 75 in physics! what kind of dumbshit is that? that's even dumber that shit. 
I told stevo I would study harder, and I have also promised myself that I would, so tomorrow, the new beginning starts. I'll pass it by just like how I passed those times in 9th grade, and those times in my first semester. and I'll see, whether I'm gonna have a regretful lunch six months from now, or not :)
Semangat fidy!
Dear you, 
I miss you, I wish I mattered more to you. Te amo 

Today's the last day of my vacation. public school students in jakarta are starting to complain. i mean what the fucking fuck? 14 days vacation? are you fucking kidding me? americans have 104 days of summer vacation. we only have fourteen fucking days? anyways this is just how the education in my nation works. i kinda miss school though. i do. :) 

This vacation, i don't know...  i didn't spend it in an awesome hotel with a spa resort, but i'm still grateful. i talk to steven at 9 pm everyday, we don't have our spanish nor bahasa day again so it's all in english... best part of my day. best part of mi dia hehe. um and bravo fidy, vous avez depense 0 calories. i think. i barely work out, i eat a lot, and oh I'm sick! I'm sick! it's dermatitis i guess. steven said, "Dermatities?" and i was like, "NO!! Dermatitis!" hahaha dumb asshole. i love you still though ;)

A gift from Bali

My uncle just arrived from Bali. He gave me that; a dream catcher. yay finally. It's pretty weird cause dream catchers belong to native americans, not native indonesians... so what are they doing in bali? business, i guess. ha. I'm happy my uncle bought me that. those native americans believe that, it'll catch your good dreams, and protect you from those bad dreams. aw deep hah. i put it on my window pane. but I hung it on the wall when i took a picture of it hehe. backlight duh. 

Studying France

I've told you before that i have been reading fables de la fontaine. I decided to study france; the langauge, history, and literature. my la fontaine fables are written in french so i use that little french dictionary my sister bought me from this cheap store. I rarely find the word i search for in it, so I eventually ask people online haha. I've been also reading that "Sejarah Prancis" (eng: French History) book. i was interested in french revolution and marie antoniette haha. umm i've been actually wanting to take a german course in goehte, but mum doesn't let me cause my grades are getting worse and worse, and my final grades are just okay. ha -_- sooo wish me luck studying :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012

querido waldo,
bebe, como estas? Perdoname por mi mal carácter. jeje :)
yo te amo. si de verdad. te amo mucho. tu dices, "te amo biennnnnnnnnn mucho" jaja. te amo biennnnnnnnnnn mucho tambien bebe. Por favor no pienses que no me importas sólo porque me he comportado de una manera estúpida y desconsiderada -_-Eres importante para mi. Me interesas. yo no hablo espanol, pero me has ayudame mucho :) y, people from internet helped me. so yep.
cuidate waldo,

con corino,

Sunday, January 1, 2012

"Manana te de mi como si fuera un celoso amante. Ven y toma mi mano por ultima ven antez de que descienda por este destrozado camino en el que voy"