Monday, July 27, 2015

Movie & Music Mumble: God Help The Girl

Good afternoon folks. I am currently writing in my agency edifice, my office, it's lunchtime right now and I decided to write. God help the girl, god help me! I first found this movie on a teaser in Fox Movies Premium. I first saw Emily Browning and I thought, wow, she's playing an indie movie again and then Hannah Murray Showed up! And I was like, no no no no this can't be true. This can't be happening! My two favorite actresses in one movie! And I saw the guy from skins season 7 and the lead singer of Years & Years (Olly Alexander)! I mean there are 2 skins casts in this movie, I mean who can resist right? And I was like shit this is probably the coolest movie I'm about to watch!

It was Wednesday. This movie was scheduled on Wednesday at 8 pm  on Fox Movies Premium. So I went home early on Wednesday. I had to wait for my grandma to get out of the TV room to invade the TV. When she finally left, I began to watch it. I didn't watch it from the exact beginning but shit man, it was really awesome. I mean I was late 15 minutes but I could still understand and enjoy every single aspect.

This movie is about three friends try to make a music project on summer. Eve (Emily Browning), who is a patient in a psychiatric hospital ran away to Glasgow and met James (Olly Alexander), a songwriter and a guitarist. James then introduced Eve to Cassie (Hannah Murray), and then three of them became friends and decided to form a band.

Actually I tried to google the interesting shots from this movie, but my favorite shot didn't show up. My favorite scene was when Eve and Anton were playing dress up or were choosing clothes for Eve to wear, there's one shot where Anton dressed exactly the same like the mannequin next to him. When I saw that I felt like I kind of found some kind of NAZI clue or a rare gem in South Africa, and I thought, damn that's creative.

So, whose brain that would come up with ideas about making this movie?

The Beat Generation: When Mad Men Write,
 "The Beat Generation was a group of authors whose literature explored and influenced American culture in the post-World War II era. The bulk of their work was published and popularized throughout the 1950s. Central elements of "Beat" culture are: rejection of standard narrative values, the spiritual quest, exploration of American and Eastern religions, rejection of materialism, explicit portrayals of the human condition, experimentation with psychedelic drugs, and sexual liberation and exploration." (src: Wikipedia)

Have you guys ever watched "Kill Your Darlings"? A movie that was played by Daniel Radcliffe and Dane DeHaan, about the becoming of The Beat Generation?

I've always loved the way male people write. Their writing sounds so simple yet so strong. Really different from the girls' writings. They're full of allegories, being weak, and demanding, and just so self-conscious. I bet you have seen me writing as a male before. When I used the word "She" or "her" instead of "he" or "him", I was writing by putting myself as a position of a boy.

Some male authors have produced so many strong writings, including song writers like Jason Mraz, Sameer Gadhia, Bon Iver,  and so many many song writers out there. But I actually kept myself listening to the words that were said in that movie, "Kill Your Darlings". Some sentences ended up so rebellious yet so strong yet so alive. And then I started to google it, what the movie was about. And The beat Generation came up.

The Beat Generation is a group of authors who defeated the rules of writing, they liberated themselves with their own style of writing. That's why their writings sound so so so so free, so liberated, so individualistic, so precious. It's kinda like Chairil Anwar's style of writing, but they're braver. This group consisted Allen Ginsberg, William S.Burroughs, Lucien Carr, and Jack Kerouac.

"Life is hard, it's not just about breathing, dear."

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


"Wanding" Josef Koudelka's Photograph
He made me eat but I couldn't stop him drinking beer. He dressed me the way he wanted but I let him get himself tattooed. what happened with the morning work-out, sad poems, and go to bed crying?

Dangerous Talk: Science and Belief

This is my hesitation and this is my curiosity. Just like a journal. Just like records of what I've been thinking lately. 
It started from the moment that I realized that light could've come from fire. They said it, in the book, in the Qur'an. That angels were made from the light, and demons were made from the fire. But what shines does burn, right? Just like the stars, for example, they were made by fire and still got the light at the same time, so what is the entity anyway?

Tuesday, July 21, 2015


"Child" Josef Koudelka's photograph
7:02 pm

Hello, here I am, trying to write at Starbucks alone. Actually, I miss being alone like this, having some time to think about random things, start to dream, start to realize, start to discover.
I see people with their comfort in solitary. Somehow, you realize that, no matter how hard you've fallen, you will be back eventually to yourself. It's not the people you'd ask, what you should do, but you'd ask yourself, what to do. And in time like this, it feels alright to think with myself. Or re-think about things that I might do the next three days, or the next three seconds, which stranger's sight I would catch, and how they'd look when I catch them looking at me. 
In times like this, I look at old pictures. How it was really dreamy in August, where I met some good looking people, clubbing, models, designers, actors, being so glamorous, competing each other to be the most glamorous. Still, that transexual woman shone the most. I saw her shyness in front of her confidence, that makes her humble.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Never Been This Far Before

I really love this song, it makes me go back somehow, to the old times, and think again about how far I've gone, and told myself that I've never been this far before. I wish I had, so I could handle things easier, but, no actually. Never.

The Edge of Life

Hello! When we talk about the edge of life, we don't actually think of the edge of the ocean, where it could be the east, or the west, or the beach, or the dry sand. But we talk about the last beat of your heart, the last breathe you exhale, the last sound you make, the last thing you think.
She once said, she was hurt and lost. She told him desperately, "You can do whatever you want, but the universe knows that I'm going to be last person you think when you're dying." and she left with anger.
I found a song. "Firelight" by Young the Giant that probably help us understand what it's like being at the edge of life.


"People can't always be perfect because that's not real, is it? It's not real because things change, don't they?"
Pandora said to Effy, when asked about Thomas. I'm wearing my old brown pants and this black sweater that I bought last year, not a good choice for Monday as it seems so grief, yet I'm still wearing it to the office.
I have written a post about life being reversible, that everything has its own gravity, pulling each other and making cycle, maybe for some reasons, life is not reversible. Like, when you kill someone, and their family is angry at you, you can not be forgiven, maybe they can forget for a while, but they can not forget. And things change, and they will adapt, but they will still remember. 
Again, it's a gloomy writing on Monday. It's quite sunny outside, but still though.  The idea of relationship itself is questionable, still. What does it really take to build a relationship? Trust, sacrificial, love, lust, sex? What does it really want to be contained of? The fact is, people need everything in a relationship. There's nothing essential, but everything is. Trust, love, sacrificial, lust, conflict, touch, you can not choose one, can you? Because things change, and you can't ever be perfect. You have to fulfill what is needed. When you can't, someone gets hurt.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Don't Dress The Same

Captured from Lookbook Indonesia's Instagram

First of all, no offense. I'm not trying to tell people how to dress these days. But I've just realized that people have been quite obsessed with the black and white trend. Some end up gothic, some end up chic, some end up grunge, and some end up with other impressions. It depends on their accessories and their make up and their hairstyle. But seriously, people have been dressing really similar to each other. I don't know since when this whole black and white trend showed up, but I think we really need some inspirations.

Once upon a time, Bill Cunningham approached Iris Apfel and said, "Thank God, you're here. Everybody looks the same." this, we can conclude that being different is really precious. 


Elephant Magazine's Website.
Based on the post that I wrote above, I found some really cool magazines that might actually set the new perspective, instead of following the typical -Black and White-Outfit of the Day- style. I don't know about other countries, but that black and white ootd style is really rampant in Indonesia, including its capital city, Jakarta, and Bandung, according to my observation.

I found these magazines at Bookstore when I was wandering around. I could not afford to buy the magazines but I could show you the websites which have blogs about the featuring topics in the magazine.

Andrew Wyeth's Painting: Christina's World
Dalam bayangan,
Dia berpaling,
Seakan menolak rindu
Dalam dahaga,
Matanya sayu seakan menipu,
Sesekali menelan ludah,
Seakan menahan diri,
Untuk berkata,
"Aku juga cinta"