Sunday, December 30, 2012

Bego

Hah yang namanya lumutan ini nih. tahun baru gue fixed ga kemana-mana. mau sok kelabing sama tante gue, gue kaga ada ktp. udeh dah gue di kamar dengerin omorphos jingkrak-jingkrak sendiri. emang nih gak jelas liburan.
Capek sastra. cerpen gue kaga ada yang jadi. Puisi juga macet di otak, tangan mau gambar kaku banget udeh. Blogging aja kaya gini. Sok nge plan jalan kesana-kesini, kagak ada duit. kaga punya temen juga nih liburan. emang bego. 
Liat aja hampir jam satu siang gue ga tau mau kemana nanti malem. Bosen parah. Pusing gue di rumah kebanyakan tidur. Gue kangen les. Biasanya kalo libur sedikit langsung cabs ke kedutaan belanda nyari event gratisan. sekarang... orang belandanya lagi pada pulang kampung kali, miskin event. Tahun ini gue sama sekali kaga dateng ke festival film. festival film eropa engga dateng, festival film indonesia juga engga, festival film perancis juga engga. Nangis yuk.
Belum berhasil juga gue dateng ke Jakarta Fashion Week. Udah bener bertahun-tahun tuh acara di Pacific Place pake sok pindah ke Plaza Seanayan. Macet bego. gue gajadi dateng deh.
Bego emang. 
Banyak juga sih yang indah-indah di 2012. Muntah yuk. Haha. Ya masih bersyukur gue tanggal 21 kemaren ga jadi kiamat. Jadi masih ada kesempatan gue untuk nonton FIFA di kedutaan belanda tahun 2014, dukung belanda. Kalo kalah gue nonton di Goehte dukung jerman, masih kalah juga? Gue dukung perancis di IFI, masih kalah juga? yaudah tidur yuk ga usah nonton. Gue bosen banget bababababanget.
Ya, maaf aja ya blogku sayang.
Aku emang suka ngedumel orangnya~


Happy New Year everyone.  

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Coeur de Pirate

Nah... setalah gabrielle aplin, sekarang doi temen galau gue. Nama aslinya Beatrice martin, tapi dia lebih dikenal dengan nama Coeur de Pirate (Pirate Heart). Doi penyanyi perancis gitu. sekarang gue lagi suka banget dengerin La Petite Mort karena liriknya bagus banget, musiknya juga. ah Je T'aime beatrice!

Naif

Naif sama nekat sebenernya setara. cuma naif lebih pinter sedikit daripada nekat. naif berpikir pendek. nekat gak mikir. walaupun dua-duanya goblok, masih pinteran naif. gue naif, jadi gue ga goblok-goblok banget. Hahahaha

Vacation

Yaps, ke hutan, terus foto. terus berenang di hotel. terus ke mall. makin ga jelas hidup gue.

Rasa

Aku melihat ke langit dan kusipitkan mata enggan menembus cahaya mentari yang tidak pernah pelit. Kemudian aku duduk juga di bawahnya, membiarkan radiasi hangat mengalir di sekitarku. Takut. Tapi tetap saja. Seakan tak punya pilihan. Enggan maju, enggan mundur, takut untuk diam. Sangat rapuh, sangat enggan untuk dikokohkan. Statis namun kritis. Entah apa ini efek kurang kerjaan atau gimana, tapi tingkat rasa ini sudah melampaui batas dimana lelah, jenuh, malas itu bercampur jadi rasa yang tidak nyaman, hampir setara sama kesedihan. Namun lebih buruk untuk didefinisikan. Mungkin ini Anhedonia.  Atau mungkin bukan sama sekali.

Salam Natal

Sudah lama ya, aku gak nge blog. Sebenarnya banyak sekali yang ingin aku share, tapi aku juga udah lama gak hunting foto jadi takut terlalu plain blognya. 

Aku gak ngerayain natal sebenarnya.. Cuma mungkin karena emang lagi hits-hitsnya natalan, yaudah judul postnya "Salam Natal"

Liburanku lumayan seru lah. Sebenernya banyak juga yang udah menginspirasi aku selama liburan, entah rasa, benda, tempat, binatang, sampai manusia-manusia juga udah memberikan inspirasi untuk aku menulis. Tapi, terlalu mager rasanya untuk memulai. Sejujurnya sih aku kangen sama ketenangan-ketenangan dulu yang bikin aku gampang banget nulis, gampang banget nge blog, gampang banget bikin lirik. Tapi sekarang, I don't why I have become so aware of what I write. Sebenernya aku bukannya aware sama apa yang aku tulis, tapi aware sama apa yang bakal mereka baca. Which I think it's up to them to judge. But I am afraid I won't be strong to be judged. 

Anyways,
Selamat natal, tahun baru, dan liburan. 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Something great.

Guess what... What I've expected, yet I have been trying to escape, finally caught me. It stabbed me many times just like how it did before. for the sake of the miserable old time, when am I going to get better? when. 

My theory of relativty

The conclusion of Einstein's theory of relativity is that every object creates its own gravity. But he didn't mention that abstract objects can make their own gravities too. For examples, history, the reversing circulation of fashion, the war cycle, the genocide cycle. they all create rotation, they all create revolution. they all create orbits. Concrete objects might be measurable, and scientifically proven that they live in their own orbits. but abstract ones are also noticeable, although you can always presume the same events as what you call... coincidence. but in the other side... haven't you realized that our energy never dies? that if your soul is gone, body is buried under the ground, and we will rot, we'll be eaten by worms, worms will make the ground healthy, so many plants will grown on it... and people will eat the plants, so do animals.. and some of them will die again, and create the whole cycle again. energy. energy isn't concrete. it is abstract. so is people's mind, and the way of thinking process in every human. it's abstract, it's energy. it has relations to other objects that'll make the same orbits all over again. life cycle.
you create your own orbit. you can give nfluence other objects. don't let them give their infulence to you. 

Rain with Vivaldi



The earth is pouring blood, looking at myself who's flawful, dreaming of impossibilities, in the dimension of nowhere. walking, so desperately. walking so desperately, listening to Vivaldi's winter. The strange dreams of being immaculate, of being impossible are seen in the dimension. they are seen in my dimension. I told myself, why have you been wandering so far? You know what you've ever wanted... you have pictured it. you have seen it. you have felt it. you have almost gained it. 

Hunger Challenge


I have planned to not eat today. Only consuming fitbar. I've been suffering anhedonia since last night. thanks to my old friend. If you only knew how much I would push you off the cliff right now.. wow man. Anyways. I hope my diet will work this time. I really need to get skinny. I really do. wish me luck<3 

Insting Mati
Setengah mati menahan diri
Pilu putusnya asa telah menanti
Jiwa membeku nan terselimuti
Rasa takut untuk kembali

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Second Best
swimming hard in the red sea,
looking for the joy I haven't had in me,
why can't you see,
the blood isn't pumping freely.

In every of my prayer, you will hear your name, in my whispers of hope, begging Him to make you stay. I thought I was crazed, blinded, defected, mentally deformed.until I take a chance, to glance, to see, how my days will be,  without your attendance besides me. and I beg Him even more. and still I do not own a little nucleus in you. so I keep begging Him, and begging Him. And I finally got tired of begging. So I left, without knowing whether you're still there or not. 
Dear the dearest,
I did not regret my decision of letting you go, but I'm now really regretfull of putting doubts on you. I knew it's always been you. always been you. somehow, I can't make you go away. I guess God had put you to stay. so you wouldn't leave, so maybe my world wouldn't be so grey. I am happy that I have been improving my life... I just want you to know that, whoever comes, whoever leaves, they're not a tiny dust bit better than you. no one can ever be you. I wish you only the best, my hopes are only full of bless. We're all scared of being disappointed. I am scared too. But I am not leaving you, no matter how scared I get. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Comfort

This happened 2 weeks. After watching this french movie, "La Guerre est Declaree", I met someone. And I've been thinking about what she said about me. she was being so relaxed. she was being so, stoic. She's a psychology student. she's my new friend. and she took a guess on me.
"You're still a child, aren't you?" said she.
"What do you mean?" said I.
"You're still a child. it shows." 
"And? what else?"
There was silence between us. It took time for her to take another guess. I was observing her face as she was still taking a guess on me. 
And she finally said, "You've been sad. you're a sad person."
I felt my heart was pumping fast. "No, only lately." I confessed.
"Seems like you're not comfortable with your new surrounding..." she said softly.
I swear I would've cried that time. I would've spit the anger and the sorrow out of me, but I didn't. I nodded, then I took a sip of my tea.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Traffic Conversation



We were in a car, my mum and I. she was driving, and I was sitting next to her. As usual, the road was congested, so she pulled the brake and asked,
"Why bother, falling in love when you're not comfortable with it?"
My heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?" said I. 
And she said, "Why bother, questioning where he is, what he's doing. why bother, being sad when he doesn't text you, when he doesn't tell you good night, when he doesn't reply fast?"
Again, my heart skipped a beat. My temperature was raising... I felt sick, and I spilled it out, finally. I said, "I am scared of being disappointed like I've always been. I would bother myself with those things is because I am scared to be the one who's eventually hurt I am scared of regretting the things I have done, or I have said, to make that person love me. I'm scared to feel that sorrow again."
A silence, between us finally showed up. The car engine and the other car horn sounded so clearly, tearing the moment of awkwardness. And she finally said,"Then you can't allow youself to hope hard."

Saturday, November 3, 2012

VIVALDI!

Liberty Is Blooming

Talk about patriotism. Protecting our land from liberalism. Talk about sacrificial, talk about the power of marginals, altogether. They barely mean a thing to us. What you saw in the past, isn't what we see in the present. Not my fault, I am not such a cult. Nor such a fantic, nor such an extrimist. let's just be the earth instead. 

L'Amour, La Folie, et La Diète

Hello, November. A very nice greeting from you since I let my tears pouring waterfall last night. Love is nice, love is kind, my sister-ish friend said that. But self is impatient, self is insecure, self is, mad. I knew this was going to happen. It is just, some kind of a karma, where you hurt someone, then someone will hurt you. No big deal. I'll get through it. myself of course is not perfect nor immaculate. shall I need a future life-fixing to gain better achievements. pretty sad to be honest, according to the fact that this has happened many times before. what a shame. I'll start having a short-term anhedonia, of course. Then I'll eat biscuits everyday, losing my appetite. Maybe I'll become thinner and thinner, so I'll look great in Jakarta Fashion Week next week. 
Dear November ma cherie, be nice. 

The Prayer

For the sake of the happiness unfold, for the light in your arms be hold, lay my hope of joy and my fear of sorrow, turning  my soul into a frightened crow, leaving wounds aching on my bone, and wish I want you to know, is stuck in my heart and won't go. what do I do as a scared crow. what do I do without your guide now. 

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Pas pour moi

Monday blue. Not only for me, but some of my girl friends felt sad too. My biggest weakness is that I can barely accept the bitter reality. I've always thought that everything could be fixed. but well, some of the things can only be stopped. some of the things might be too complex to be fixed so people would only leave it. But when people are about to leave, I always take a longer time to stay, to fix the complex things. But most of people, would be gone too far. so far they aren't coming back.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

You and I are friends.
Look at those very entertaining bolded characters.

Gabrielle Aplin


Nah, ini temen galau gue coy. Her name is Gabrielle Aplin, a singer from England. Lirik lagunya bagus... yang paling gue suka ya "Keep pushing me" soalnya lagi cocok banget buat gue hahhaha. Gue suka suaranya juga.. aluss banget, pokoknya suka banget. suka suka. Kayak gue suka sama Carla Bruni dan Regina Spektor dan Birdy dan... penyanyi sejenis mereka. Dengerin aja lah ya.. 


                                                                                                                                                             
I got a big news. tomorrow is monday. which means, any problems are coming straight towards me, and ready to beat me up until they reach their own climax statisfaction, and just leave me there, with wounds, and bleeding face. almost dead. then another modnay will come one week after.
salam curhat. 

This Funny Feeling~


It feels like, being hung alone, in a dark room. it feels like, the rope doesn't strangle you, but the air in that room does. the rope is friendly but you and your surroundings aren't. it feels like, you think you're going to die, but again, the rope is just so friendly. and when you try again to lose youself, giving it up to your senseless world where you shouldn't feel anything, for one second you feel so blessed, so safe, so alive. and then, just like a fast rewinding movie, your eyes which stand as flowers re-blossoming itself.. not withering, but blossoming over and over again... and you feel tired, but happy, but scared, but tranquil.. 

careless.

Bon soir. In every possibility I believe, some of them lead me to the thought of failures. so whether I am going to work it out, or lose it all, who cares, who knows. In this situation, seems like "trying my best" can actually give myself a satisfaction. which is really unnecessary. but still... Now it seems like, I barely give a tiny shit to people as they wouldn't give an atom-sized shit to me. I am trying to get rid off my sympathetic emotion that eventually leads me to a self-devastation. why bother, caring and irrationally asking, if people really love you, if people really are about you, when you aren't even happy with their affection. Didn't mean to be an ungrateful bitch, but I really wish that I could be happier. 
Au revoir 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Oktober 18 2012
Deep in your heart
Where we both had
Something is recalled
That something had passed. 

Self Humiliation

Okay, this is either really cool, or very humiliating. I was unbelieavbly attacked by massive boredom, that I fianlly led myself to visit Picmonkey.com. and I decided to edit my pcture and turned it into a failed poison ivy picture concept. ha-ha-ha. it looks so quirky. I mean very quirky. like, Luna Lovegood mixed with Poison Ivy in Batman. I like it though. 

I am getting more excited for halloween, wishing somebody would take me to a halloween party. And oh, the exam week is over, I have failed one test so far. quiet disappointing. I got my Jakarta fashion week invitations today. Attending Mphosis show and Hoss Intropia show... Because the rest of the shows are full. And yet, I haven't decided what to wear.. Plus I have a marginal amount of money. so I think I am going to cut off some clothes, rip them aoart and just, turn them more wearable. Or.. maybe I am not even going, and I'll give the tickets to my friend, instead. 

I've been actually waiting for christmas, because... this person whom we call "santa" a.k.a my a*nt, she will spread the end-of-the-year gifts and will also give me something. I mean she always gives us something in the end of the year.. just like santa. no offense. 
have a great life, peeps.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Cyclic

I just had this relazation about twenty minutes ago, that life has echoes. yes, the rapture's song. They say "Life makes echoes.. if you see them.. life makes echoes". And well, I consider the rapture's echoes as reflections, that life reflects things in it, not as in making shadows in the mirror, but reflecting things so they will spread and deploy.. so they will breed like crazy epidemic. and no matter how tired you've ever been, you'll be even more tired in the future. no matter how many problems life has reflected in you, you will get more problems. they're echoing. everything is echoing. maybe this is why the say, the energy never dies. fucking genius. 


Conservative

Enough with the chichats, about heaven and hell, goodness and badness, enough with the different thoughts, enough with the olds.. the conservatives. dare I say, most of my familymembers are considered as old-made-brain human beings. very funny it seems, knowing that we live in the greatest shithole, and also in the great century, they're still counting on their middle age brain quality. this is why, this is why we should have learned philosophy at least in middle school. so we're wouldn't be lost, or narrow-minded. it seems like, now if someone with a great title speaks, people would believe them, especially when it comes to an extreme religious person with high title. they would absolutely nod their heads and believe in what the shitheads say. 
one advice here, learn harder, know deeper. 
October 3 2012
The sudden show of a lad
Never know what I should've had
If only heart wasn't as noire
As the sight was given to the fore

The sudden show of a lad
Know that I shoud've been glad

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I won’t stay but I can’t leave
Some twisted sense of loyalty
And you make me love the things I hate
Keep pushing me
From "Keep Pushing Me" by Gabrielle Aplin
Darkness seems to be darker in a night full of unwanted wants. when the universe denies every gravity of my wishes, there lies.. hopes of miracles, for the shattered dreams I have surrendered them broken, what else would you expect, when you stand in the edge of life? wouldn't be glory I would expect, only something that would vanish my despair...

Only WE can define our happiness

The process of making one of those great Jakarta foods.. "Kerak Telor"
One night in North Jakarta. A bucket of people were thrown into the old city hall. The Fatahillah. Despite all those luxurious view of western cuisines and party, I, could finally define a cheap joy of the old jakarta. 
Salam Bolang.

Look at me, I am washed out by the amount of the sanity, only a grin dare I give as myself fade to the nothingness in a place of nowhere. whether not or conscious, this soul wouldn't care. They see nothing, not a thing at all. I see a process, of an unforgettable oblivion, when a beauty of life shows in a form of carcass. when a drop of tear is defined, as a drop in water sink. Look at me, I am washed out by the amount of sanity. 




Happy Spooky October Everyone
I've been wanting to buy a deer mask since I was in 9th grade. and I've been suggesting students in my school to celebrate Halloween... that we should just hold a halloween party.. where hundreds of students are gathering in the field, wearing spooky costumes, and watch one or two horror movies together. But seems like, people in Indonesia are just too conservative, and too close-minded to throw that kind of party, so.. I decided to mess with my picture.. that's me with a computer-made deer mask. it looks so weird I know. but well oh well..


Saturday, September 22, 2012

Animals



A funny wind of thoughts blows my brain, freshens it, and leaves with a question about them, the animals. People whom we have indirectly admitted as mammals, are mammals. No matter how far or how high they can ever think, they are still mammals. I have one animalistic friend, let's call him, "The Dog". And I have another animalistic friend, that I usually call, "The cat". Both the dog and the cat would be very, nice to me.. in the old times. but as I see deeper, the dog will always be the sycophant.. and the cat will always be the devlish pussy inside. I have been judging the animal side of certain people.. calling their names with real animal names.. like grizzly, panda, skunk, and fish.. however, I began to realize.. maybe I am the only human left. just kidding

Great night

close your eyes as the world sing,
the lullaby of the silence that doesn't cling
hide yourself from those who sting,
everything will be better in the morning

shall I finish this infatuating verse,

the only thing I can give to the dearest
always know you've given your best
and i will never stop me to bless

great night. 


I told you, I wanted to write you a poem.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Lebaran ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ








I might be a little too late to say this.. but congratulations to us, as we have reached our high glory, Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri. Beg nothing but your forgiveness as we people, often make mistakes. Selamat Lebaran <3
Love,
Fidy

Talky

Honestly, I wasn't even planning to indirectly write something in my blog about someone. 
But well, I am not talking about anyone.. but I am right now talking about the importance I give or the.. priority I have for certain people.
Crush? Well I don't think that I am prioritizing people.. isn't a great sample of showing a crush feeling from myself.. so nope. 

It begins in a deep early morning, where my eyes are still wide opened, awake, in the dark.. laying in my bed. picturing a true form in small media of  my fantasy... visions. as my thought moves away... far away.. to the bottom of impossibility.. to the edge of possibility.. to the spot of limit. it stops there. You. nothing to reach, nothing to lose. You are what I have, what I prioritze, what I presume as such an importance in myself. and the spot of limit fades...
vanishes there. leaves such a wonder, such a question. oh, what is that? how does my brain even come up with a slip of.. nothing I should never think of.

You. son of a bitch.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Difference

I heard that, we have two different paths we both would like to go.. let's say, you are wanting to go to the path A, and I want to go to the Path B. both paths have such great, equal facilities.. what makes us really insistent to go to our own path is that because we both believe in our own path.
say I will see a great carbonara spaghetti in path B. and you say you will see a great smoked beef fetucini in path A.
they both are equally great. but this great equality, is the one that makes the difference seems to be so hard. this equality.. this egalite, that makes the difference seems so strange. so I guess, right now you should go your way, and I will go mine. 

"we don't belong to anybody, and nobody belongs to us"

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Consideration

Bon soir <3 ah, I just had my very first french lesson. 
Decisions have been wisely made. People start to be smarter, and smarter as they learn their life one more day, one more time. thousand brains making conclusions.. making considerations. sometimes, brain doesn't work very well when heart starts beating faster.. and the surroundings have become.. such a disaster. this is the right moment, when people tell you to think with your heart, ignoring your brain's theories and conclusion.. and when the heart is in a bad condition, there will be no consideration. just boom. vanished. gone. 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Tolerance

I learned something today that... deep down inside you never feel like you could ever tolerate what you falsely tolerated. does that make sense? for example.. your partner cheated on you. they and apologized to you.. and you tolerated their mistake but you knew that mistake like that couldn't be tolerated. but you forced yourself to tolerate it so eventually, you tolerated it. well my point is.. if i were in that case, I wouldn't let anyone getting away for cheating on me. No matter what their reason is.. mistakes are mistakes. no bullshit. this is what they call... "I forgive but I do not forget". that is one weird phrase.. I mean why would someone forgive when they still recall the mistake by not forgetting it? does that make sense? doh-_-
So, the conclusion is.. when you have an abhorrent of something you can tolerate, don't tolerate. don't give pities.. they'll only make you feel regretful for lame decision you've just made.


Jane by Design.

I have never been this fanatic to any tv shows.. but oh well this one is very very... addicting. So this is Jane by Design, a new tv show by ABC family channel. well it's not that new, but it will be new in southeast asia. it shows up in star world every tuesday, starting this august, so keep in touch.
I have finished watching the complete first season in sidereel. so if you can't wait to watch it weekly, you can watch it anytime in sidereel for free. butyou have to track the links first.

so anyways, Jane by Design tells you about a high school student, Jane Quimby who got her fashion dream job, working in Donovan Decker. the problem is, people in Donovan Decker think that she's an adult. so she has to live two lives... one in high school, one in high fashion ha-ha. 

this show is very addicting because it plays with your emotion really well when you watch it. you can actually feel the tense and the tranquility when you watch it. you can be like "WTF DID HE JUST SAY?" and minutes later you can be like.. "aw that's so sweet." so yeah congratulations to the director of this show. I really, really love it.

Now, I am waiting for the second season to be released immediately. many jane by design fans have been tweetting, tumblring about our enthusiasm for the second season, and I hope ABC family will release it soon. 
Arrivederci!

Monday, July 30, 2012

Hello:)

I watched this movie "Kauwboy" in Erasmus Huis, the dutch cultural center on Saturday. the movie was so-so.. didn't mean to be cynical or something. I saw a chinese woman crying after Jojo's bird died. I didn't really pay attention during the  screening. I, glanced at the red light on my cell phone and checked if Steven had messaged me. ah, love.

I am quiet hungry right now. aw yeah. we can have dinner in 27 minutes. oh yeah, still a long way to go. 

I have been focusing on my studies recently. and I am excited to attend UI fashion week this august. I am actually eager to plan what clothes I'm going to wear. I am probably going to buy some shoes this august. I have already designed this weird brocade jumpsuit that I might wear in UIFW or JFW. but i am not sure that I will be confident enough wearing it. but too late, grandma has already brought it to her tailor, and she's working on it currently.. so yeah let's just hope that the jumpsuit won't look that ugly. 

I still have 2 more weeks for school, then I will get 2 weeks Hari Raya vacation. I don't think we will be celebrating the independence day this year. I don't give a shit either, so. yeah. well.. I think I'm done now.
Arrivederci!


Friday, July 27, 2012

growing up.

Looking at my little sister.. the way she tries to look older, to like celebrities fanatically, the way she hopes that everything goes right. It kind of reminds me that, she was the 6th grade version of me. and it's okay. it's okay to be enthusiastic. and she's in a great age to be enthusiastic. and I don't think I am, being a 16 years old girl is perfect for that kind of enthusiastic attitude. well my conclusion is, that I won't be acting like a crazy fan girl chasing for your attention anymore, or your tight shoelace trying to not let you go. you are only a human. and so am I. I'm no longer miserable anymore. 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

steven vince.

Turn my tears into drips of rainbow.  Only you dear I should know At night you will make me glow



Catch me as I fall into the sorrow
Turn my tears to drips of rainbow. 
Only you dear I should know
At night you will make me glow
"If memory was heaven, this must be hell" 
- Juliet, in America by Land

Meet the rabbit.

Hello. happy ramadhan! my name is agent collage 101. I was made of papers in magazine that were ripped off by fidy. she was totally mental and insomniac and upset when she made me. that's why my eye looks quiet angry and fierce. she couldn't sleep yesterday morning at around 4 am, and she decided to make me. and now here I am stuck in the scanner and wait for fidy to stick me in to her pink folder again. 

the story that never ends..

I prayed to God that night after we met. I begged Him to not make you disappoint me. And perhaps, you did pray too that night, and begged Him to let you disappoint me. Well I guess you got what you wanted. and I know that my feelings were never considered as your business... But I expected you, to at least care, but turned out that you didn't. and the problem is, it doesn't matter whether you did care or you really didn't, because it's always seemed like that you didn't. but I keep expecting that maybe someday you would, but the other side I know that you wouldn't. And somehow, I just can't stop expecting, when there's nothing to expect anymore. 


"Still everyday I think about you
I know for a fact that’s not your problem
But if you change your mind you’ll find me"

Messing with pictures in magazine

when it comes to boredom, everything happens. the truth is, I love messing with pictures. that one above is a picture of Hayden Panittiere, the actress who played scream4, and Heroes. well she obviously looks like a transsexual in that picture above. and why oh deer? because the branches make her look like a deer. so yeah. does that even make sense? 
another picture I messed... this is from Nylon Indonesia last year edition. both pics are from Nylon Indonesia last year edition. but I don't remember what month, they both were published. so that collage above, shows a girl who's jealous of another girl because she gets the guy. nothing personal with this picture, really. it was just this random idea. nothing from the core. I mean you know, when it comes to boredom... everything happens :)


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Singapore Part Two

Alright after switching Mozila to google chrome I can finally operate blogger again. peehew hehe. 

And oh yeah, I forgot to report that before I was leaving to Juurong, I had breakfast with my host family in this coffee shop nearby the town council. that's me, farah, and shi lei's mom. Shi Lei took this picture for us.doh-_-. I had mi sun or something like that for breakfast. it's like bihun in jakarta but completed with curry. it tasted kind of sour sweet.. but it was okay. 
after we had our mi sun breakfast, we headed to the public library in Juurong :D

So we visited snow city right after visiting the science center. they didn't allow visitors to bring their cameras inside, so we didn't bring ours. but there's this photographer who randomly took of everyone's picture so we could print our photos after playing around in the snow city. 

I got my pic with the group, and I printed it for 10 dollars. I could've scanned it to my computer and posted that pic in this post but I am way too lazy to do that, so neevrmind.

At night, shi lei and her mother took us to bugis street and arab street to buy souvenirs for our family in indonesa. i bought chocolates and gantungan kuncis. and t-shirts. after done shopping, they took us to this yogurt cafe where me and fara made our own yogurt. we couldn't finish it though. and it was pretty expensive. sorry shi lei. 

we finally went back home by the MRT after eating our yogurt. the train was full of people, though it was already 10 pm. busy spore. we got home at around 10.30 and we showered and finally went back to sleep at around 12 am. nice. 
The next day, Mr. Donda took us to raffles place. this picture, in your right, is a picture of raffless' statue. erm thomas stanford raffles... the founder of Rafflessia Arnoldi? remember?

he was also the founder of Singapore, kind of. he was also the governor of Bencoolen (Bengkulu) back then, in english colonialism time. Raffless place looks amazing. there are many tall buildings there. not just regular tall, but like, super tall buildings. 

and oh, i forgot to tell that I didn't activate my blackberry service during my summer camp. the MEA staff gave us this singapore sim card so it'd be easy for us to contact each other in singapore. I didn't get the chance to contact steven when I was there. I missed him so much, but since I finally got back to jakarta, I stop missing him <3

Just one day before we're departing to jakarta, we visited the marvelous universal studio in sentosa. it says "Universal studio, ride the movies" in the brochures. and it's true. the attractions are all based by movies that were made by The Universal Production. 
when we first entered the recreation park. I saw people taking pictures with these funny hats. I approached them and they actually provide the funny hats for us to take pics with. generous Singaporeans...

<- this farah, tabina, and me, in our orange shirts and our funny hats just not too far from the universal studio entrance. 

we got there by this direct bus from summer view hotel in Little India. the trip took 30 minutes I suppose. no traffic jam along the roads. unfortunately the weather that day wasn't too great. it was raining heavily when we got there (the universal studio). we had to use our umbrellas, some of us bought the raincoats. it was pretty lame..

the rain finally stopped after we rode this transformer ride. it was like a 4D roller coaster. Dofan certainly doesn't have it. I mean, come on haha. 


this is the biggest coaster. it has two rails and trains.. the blue rail and the red rail. i think the blue one is the most tragic haha. because it just seems too dangerous. and this coaster runs for 90 seconds so that's like soooo fireaking fast oh my god. 

Only me and Tabina from our group who were brave enough to ride the coasters. although the blue one for me, was more scary than the red one, the blue one was more thrilling that the red one. so yeah i think you just gotta try both of them to achieve your own comparison. 


this is me, taking a picture in front of teh mighty real life t-rex. hahaha just kidding it's just a statue duh silly. omg when i first showed it to steven, he was like "T FUCKING REX FIDY, BECAREFUL!"
damn hahaha,

he's just really that lebay. really that lebay. erm, I wish steven could've come with me to singapore. we'd have some badass time.

and look at that weird face caucasian ahahaha. i don't know if she was trying to smile or just stick her tongue out, but that looks fucking ugly like so fucking ugly, like totally fucked up. 


before going back home, I had my face painted. well not only me. Tabina and Farah also got their faces painted. it cost me 10 dollars for that pink tiger painting doh. well, we finally went back home after having this farewell party in this restaurant near the universal studio. and the next morning we're already departing to jakarta. it's been such a great experience, here in singapore. 
 I hope I'll be able to visit it again someday... :)




the end