Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Traffic Conversation

We were in a car, my mum and I. she was driving, and I was sitting next to her. As usual, the road was congested, so she pulled the brake and asked,
"Why bother, falling in love when you're not comfortable with it?"
My heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?" said I. 
And she said, "Why bother, questioning where he is, what he's doing. why bother, being sad when he doesn't text you, when he doesn't tell you good night, when he doesn't reply fast?"
Again, my heart skipped a beat. My temperature was raising... I felt sick, and I spilled it out, finally. I said, "I am scared of being disappointed like I've always been. I would bother myself with those things is because I am scared to be the one who's eventually hurt I am scared of regretting the things I have done, or I have said, to make that person love me. I'm scared to feel that sorrow again."
A silence, between us finally showed up. The car engine and the other car horn sounded so clearly, tearing the moment of awkwardness. And she finally said,"Then you can't allow youself to hope hard."

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