Saturday, July 12, 2014

Alors,

Tu es si petit, mais tu prends tallement de place. Et Je ne t'aime pas, et Je te deteste.
You better shit on your face, so you know, what it's like to face your bad side all the time.

Revolutionary Feel; Analyzing "Wind of Change" by The Scorpions


The reason why my ears "caught" this song is because of the whistle. I first heard this song in a car, with my father. He had this playlist playing in the radio, and when this song started, I really enjoyed the whistle, and I told him that the song was good, and I asked him what was it about, and he told me, "It's about Russian Revolution."
I really didn't care back then. But then in high school, I found out about Mikhail Gorbachev and this word, "Perestorika" which made me suddenly interested in their revolution. this song isn't specifically about Russian revolution, but it's about the early end of the cold war.

"Wind Of Change"

 (verse1)
I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change
An August summer night
Soldiers passing by
Listening to the wind of change

(verse 2)
The world is closing in
Did you ever think
That we could be so close, like brothers
The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

(Chorus)
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

(Verse 3)
Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever
I follow the Moskva
Down to Gorky Park
Listening to the wind of change

(Chorus)
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
in the wind of change

(Verse 4)
The wind of change
Blows straight into the face of time
Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind
Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say

(Chorus)

So here's the analysis, it will sort of contain historical facts and stuff. And I will be clear to you that I am just analyzing here, I'm not siding with the commie or the democrats, so yeah.

Verse 1
"I follow the moskva, down to gorky park"... We can picture ourselves walking in Moscow (Moskva is actually a river in Moscow), passing The Gorky Park by. Gorky Park is a funfair park, which is named after Maxim Gorky a founder of Socialist Realism literary method and a political activist (Wikipedia says). "Listening to the wind of change"... as we're walking in the city of Moscow, we can feel something's changing. This song was released in 1990, the year when the cold war ended.
 "An august summer night, soldiers passing by, listening to the wind, of change".. so we must know what happened in august summer night before or around 1990. I was thinking it might be "August Coup" that this song is talking about, but it's not. Because August Coup happened in 1991. I was thinking about The Berlin Wall destruction, but it happened on November. So I guess what happened in August Summer Night is the end of communism in Poland in 1989. Poland was the first country that left the eastern bloc back then. SO yeah you could actually feel the wind of change back then. After Poland left, many nations started to leave the eastern bloc, such as Hungary, Eastern Germany, Bulgaria, Romania.

Verse 2
"The world is closing in" means that the world's uniting. "Did you ever think, that we could be so close like brothers?" the cold war really separated people. Since the communist got weaker and weaker, the world seemed to be uniting, and they realized that they've should've been united a long time ago, as they were brothers naturally. "The future is in the air, I can feel it everywhere, blowing with the wind, of change..." in this part they started to feel that the bright future awaited along this change.

Verse 3
"walking down the streets, distant memories, are buried in the past forever"... So we imagine ourselves again, walking in the town of Moscow, feeling the memories upon the streets. But the memories are far far behind, and are gonna be buried in the past forever. 
"I follow the Moskva, down to Gorky park, listening to the wind of change,"... so we keep walking again, in the Moskow, feeling the wind of change.

Chorus
"Take me, to the magic of the moment on a glory night, where the children of tomorrow share their dreams with you and me"... in here we praise, the ending of the cold war,where the generation finally has hope and dreams that they can share to the world. 

Verse 4
"The wind of change, Blows straight into the face of time, Like a stormwind that will ring the freedom bell, For peace of mind"... the wind of change, is like a big step to a big change, it's like a stormwind that will free the people, make the peace of their minds and stuff. revolutionary stuff.
"Let your balalaika sing What my guitar wants to say"... Balalaika is a russian traditional guitar.. so that means The Scorpions persuaded the russians to say what they want to say. A revolution, a reformation. The end of cold war. 

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So there you go. It's an awesome song, it tells amazing story. It tells a story that people didn't even realize. We only remember about the destruction of Berlin Wall, the Augustus coup and stuff. But they don't remember about Poland signing out from the communist bloc. so yeah, it's a good song. Good story. I'm not telling you that I have my side on the Liberals. I'm just telling you, it's a good song with a good story. Bravo The Scorpions!



Caulfield's Steps; "The Catcher in The Rye" Book Review



Oh, that funny feelings when you've just finished reading a book. Somebody really special recommended this book, "The Catcher in The Rye" written by J.D Salinger. Honestly, I don't know what to say hahaa. I just finished reading it, but in the other side I really really want to keep on reading, finding out things that should've been found out in the end of this book. But the book was finished, so... It's kinda frustrating me, in a way. HAHAH

The book was brilliant in its own way. The writer had this odd writing style. It was kind of childish but funny, in a way. HAHAHA look who's got influenced... The book is about this young man, Holden Caulfield, who had this peculiar but awesome point of view. He had been expelled from 4 schools he had gone to. And he started to leave this last school he went to called "Pencey Prep", he left to New York with just enough of dough. It's funny to hear that someone actually uses the word "dough" instead of "money". At the first time, I had troubles reading it because there were so many words I didn't understand such as:

1) Phony, it means fake
2) Flit means gay
3) "That killed me" means that something is really funny 
4) "Give her the time" means sex
5) "Horsing around" means messing around 

I also really like the old spellings, like "Sonuvabitch". "Helluva", "Swell", "What'sa matter?". They got me feeling groovy somehow.

This book was really descriptive.But it wasn't descriptive about what's going on in this book, but it was descriptive about what's going on in Holden Caulfield's mind. Holden, Holden has this awesome way of living his life. What he tells you in this book can actually make you feel the way he feels. It gave me depression a few times. It made me stay in my room in the dark, early morning, thinking about cold snowy central park with nobody around.

I really enjoyed reading the book, it didn't give me the intense climax or anything, but I really enjoyed it. I really felt the confusion, the lonesome Holden felt. It really gave me depression, a nice one though. But don't worry, in the last part of this book, Caulfield will cure your depression, so you won't be feeling detached eventually. Cheers!

War Feel; Analyzing "Zombies" by The Cranberries



So I found this song on TV when I was still a 9th grade student. I was quiet obsessed with the game "Plants vs Zombies", and I kind of felt sorry for the peanut-looking potatoes as the zombies try to eat them. Anyways, when I first heard this song, I thought the vocalist's voice was unique and all, and I really liked repeating the "zombie, zombie" part. I told my uncle about this "discovery". And he told me, "It's about a war." I was surprised.

Lyrics: 

"Zombie"

(Verse 1)
Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence.
Who are we mistaken?
(Verse 2)
But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...
(Chorus)
In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...
(Verse 3)
Another mother's breakin'
Heart is taking over
When the violence causes silence,
We must be mistaken.
(Verse 4)
It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen.
In your head, in your head they're still fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are dying...
(Chorus)


I started to wonder what this song is about, so I decided to analyze it today. Okay here we go,

Verse 1
"Another head hangs lowly, a child is slowly taken" probably means that somebody kills a child as in "child is slowly taken", and this somebody feels guilty because of it, that's why their head "hangs lowly". "The violence caused such silence" probably means that despite all this violence happening back then, nobody really spoke up and fought against it, but instead they were desperate and about to give up, questioning "Who are we mistaken?"

Verse 2
"But you see it's not me, it's not my family" probably means that all the mistake isn't coming from the current generation's family, the mistake isn't coming from the current generation at all. "In your head, in your head, they're still fighting." means that deep in this generation's heads, something's still happening, people are still fighting and all. But who? and why? "With their tanks and their bombs, and their bombs and their guns, in your head in your head they are crying..." OKAY that sentence just gave me chills. That probably means that, they can still feel the 'war' going on back then, feeling how they used the bombs, tanks, and guns. In your head, you can feel them who were fighting, were also crying. 

Chorus
"In your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie" probably means that, back then you could say that everybody was "zombies" as their brains were washed, their eyes were blinded, they fought with all their might, not thinking who was the right one and who was the guilty one. "What's in your head, in your head, Zombie, Zombie"... the writer pictured those soldiers as zombies, knowing they were blinded and all.

Verse 3
"Another mother's breakin, heart is taking over" probably means that somebody got hurt again, but this time heart is taking over. It means that this time, people's hearts are finally touched. Because "When violence causes silence, we must be mistaken". because when violence is happening everywhere, and nobody speaks up, it's us, we must be mistaken for not standing up all.

Verse 4
"It's the same old theme, since 1916".. Okay we can finally find out what's going on in this song. I thought this song was about world war and all, but since 1916? World War 1 happened from 1914 to 1918. what happened in 1916 then? So I googled 1916 war, and wikipedia came up with "Irish War of Independence". So it's a war, between Ireland and The United Kingdom, Irish people were trying to achieve their freedom and all. But the war actually happened in 1919 to 1922, so what happened in 1916 is.. The Easter Rebellion, or The Easter Rising.

Wikipedia says "The Rising was mounted by Irish republicans with the aims of ending British rule in Ireland, seceding from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, and establishing an independent Irish Republic" SO this rebellion was the first step of Irish people in confronting their urge to be independent. Although the war exploded 3 years later, but the what is it.. the "seeds" were already there since 1916.

"It's the same old theme, since 1916, in your head in your head, they are fighting" probably means that there was still something going on between Irish and English people back then (in the 90s, because the band was actually popular in the 90s). "With their tanks and their bombs, and their bombs, and their guns, in your head, in your head, they're dying."  in your head you can still picture all of it; the fighting and all.

Chorus (again lol)
So.. "What's in your head? in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie" means that the current generation might be the zombie ones here. The war was over and all, but they kept things so intense until the 90s. So they're basically zombies, they got brainwashed by the history. shit. That really got me there.

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So at first I thought, the zombie was the dead soldiers because they would kill people with eyes blinded and stuff, but actually, the zombies can be generation back then in the 90s, because they kept things intense between the UK and Ireland. So yeah, that really fucked my head. I got a little help from google finding out what's going on in this song. and um, please try to correct me if I'm mistaken about any part of this song. 
So yeah, it's a great song. I really enjoy singing along the "zombie, zombie. zombie" part and um I wish the current bands would make songs about Gaza Strip and Syria Civil War... It would be really cool. LOL

Friday, July 11, 2014

One Night

That night, It was cold, I was staying up late. It was 11 pm, everything went well for thirty minutes. Then he started to talk, he did his talk, the kind of talk that I wouldn't talk to anybody but myself. But he did the talk. The thing is, he didn't want to be hugged, nor held, nor anything. So I just listened. I listened so well my ears would recall it forever. The thing is, he didn't want to be helped. I don't think he wanted to be loved that night. 

The talk however, eventually it became the "ask". He kept asking me to do things, things that I wouldn't let anyone do to me. He didn't beg or anything, he kept repeating the request. And nope, I didn't do that thing to him. I just told him, maybe we could do it together. Maybe we could do it to ourselves instead of asking someone else to do it. He agreed, but he said that he lost his laptop and we couldn't do it together that time. So he kept asking me to do it for him. 

I never agreed. He told me how he disliked me and how he wished I had gone and he had gone earlier. And that night, he broke my heart again. I asked him if he meant what he said. He kept repeating his request, and he kept telling to leave.So I started to cry, and I told him how I hated crying at night. I told him that night cry would make you look ugly in the morning. And I guess, he suddenly became happy, knowing that I actually cried.

He eventually got tired. So he stopped requesting that thing, and he asked, "Who's winning the world cup?"
He was back again.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Space (a poem)

 Aku tahu kamu marah,
dan aku marah karena kamu marah.
Aku mau kamu berhenti marah,
tapi kalau aku bicara,
kamu pasti akan tambah marah

Banyak yang sok tahu,
Banyak yang tidak tahu malu.
Tapi kita tahu banyak.
Kita gak perlu malu-malu

Aku udah tau, tangan kamu tuh hangat,
Dan kamu mau peluk aku sekarang,
Sok-sok nanya, "kamu kenapa?"

Tapi kamu enggak ngelakuin itu.
Kamu takut... aku juga.

P.s: It's an old draft I found on my blog. 

Analyzing "A Wish" by Gregory and The Hawk



(Verse 1)
I wish to feel smaller
Under your sheets
I wish for the whole truth
Every time you speak
I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep...

 
(verse 2)
And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
And I swear I'm gonna cry
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough

 
(chorus)
And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away

(Verse 3)
And I wish to feel smaller under your hands
Though you seem satisfied
As you slip mine down your pants
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
As you lift up my shirt after asking politely

(verse 4)
And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
'Cause it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up
But I swear I'm gonna cry
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough
 
(chorus)

(Verse 5) 
And it's hard to find
What I want
When it's buried beneath the biggest rock
I could pay lots of money
To help lift it with machines
But I'm not sure you'd cooperate
Not sure you'd come clean

(verse 1)
(verse 2)

Yeah, I swear I'm gonna cry
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough

And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away
Is gonna tear mine away 

Okay this is my first time, analyzing a song lyric on my blog, so..  excuse the defects.

Verse 1
 "I wish to feel smaller under your sheet," is probably saying that the girl isn't comfortable sleeping with the guy, because she doesn't feel small enough, she doesn't feel being embraced enough by the guy. "I wish for the whole truth everytime you speak", clearly the guy is a pathological liar. "Thinking about how you care half as much for me" probably means that the guy is careless about the girl, and she presumes that she cares more about the guy than the guy "cares" about her. So it's kind of one-sided. "as I, watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep." says that the guy acts as if he ignores her. Verse 1 tells a girl's complain about her guy, being careless about her, he tells lies as if they're no biggie. and the girl starts to feel that the guy only takes, but doesn't give. 

Verse 2 
"And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem" means that the guy doesn't care what the girl does. "You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans" probably means that the guy really won her heart and her love, and he "put" it deep inside him so it won't be taken away by the girl. It seems like, the guy really enjoys having "someone" who loves him, but he won't even think about loving them back. "Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough" means yeah, the guy is a complete asshole. "I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough" the girl really wants to cry, but the lyric isn't even saying that the girl cries in front of her guy. So, She really really wants to cry, she's sick of being tough, but she stays strong. The conclusion from verse 2 is that, we find out from this verse that the girl doesn't feel comfortable being with her guy, but she can't leave, because she's stuck to the feelings she has for her guy.

Chorus
"My blood won't stick to the confines of my veins" means that she doesn't feel attached to herself. She's not feeling completely herself. That means that she's anxious, she's scared, she's nervous, she can't calm down. "And your heart is gonna tear mine away" means that in the end, the guy's behaviors will eventually tear her apart. 

Verse 3
"And I wish to feel smaller under your hands". Okay now they're holding hands, but the girl, again, she doesn't feel small enough, not comfortable enough when the guy's embracing her. "Though you seem satisfied. As you slip mine down your pants". after holding her hands, the guy slips her hands down to his pants(?) LOL. the embrace suddenly becomes sexual, and the guy starts to feel satisfied because the girl actually slips her hands inside his pants LOL. "And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me. As you lift up my shirt after asking politely" STILL IN that moment, the girl still thinks about the guy's bad behaviors, about him being careless and ignorant, while the guy's being all horny, lifting her shirt after asking politely, making the girl fall in love with him all over again. 

Verse 4
 "And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be" means that the girl has been trying to be someone else so the guy will like her, but in the end it doesn't matter. "Cause it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy" means that there is someone out there who he likes more! finally in this verse we know that there's someone else! another girl he likes, another girl who's everything she's not. She envies her for that. "I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up", knowing that there's someone out there, she wants to end this relationship, so she will sleep well, she will get herself back together. BUT.. "But I swear I'm gonna cry, I'm sick of trying to be tough", but she actually doesn't want to end this. She's sad ending this relationship. 

Verse 5
"And it's hard to find what I want when it's buried beneath the biggest rock. I could pay lots of money to help lift it with machines" this line probably tells that she has this wish that might "come true". But..... "But I'm not sure you'd cooperate. Not sure you'd come clean" But she's not sure, if her wish will cooperate, not sure if she can have him "clean" as in have him wholly for her, as what she wishes. SO what she wants is actually the guy, she could try try try so hard to get the guy, her guy, but she knows that how hard her trying, she won't have him completely, she won't have him clean, as he's a dirty, cheating asshole lol.

And she will cry, and cry, she's sick of being tough.

Okay that's it. Um it's a great song. I often listen to this when I'm not good enough for someone I love. Anyways, thanks for reading. 



Jerk

I'm a flexible woman. I don't mind having a "partner" who smokes, does drugs, gambles, who's mean to girls, and being considered as a "bad guy" by the society. I told myself that I would be fine, none of those "characteristics" would mess me up. And yeah, I've met people like that, and yeah, they didn't mess me up. And then I met someone, extremely harmless, who's in a bad shape, bad health, who does absolutely nothing outrageous. But you messed me up. You did. How could you?