Wednesday, August 5, 2015


Sometimes, when you're lost, you don't need a map to find another way out, you just need a few steps backward to remember where you were and where you were going to. I've lied to myself so many times, avoiding what I've really wanted, I've listened to the wrong people, and I couldn't help blaming myself. I've always been worried about being left behind, so I kept pleasing people, making them stay with me as long as possible. I've been denying what I had been capable of all this time, and a few days ago, I started to remember.

It was either Monday or Thursday, they were announcing this poem-reading competition, and his writing touched me. It was like I was being touched by destiny, it was like the universe had built me a path, to somewhere far yet somewhere so good. And after 4 years being so infatuated, people made me deny what I've loved since 4 years ago. And I kept on changing.

A few days ago, this extraordinary boredom made me realize something, "Hey, you aren't happy. You're running out of yourself."
All this time, I've been trying to play the perfect role as a part of this crazy society. I've been doing diets, going somewhere cool to show off my "cool" hang out places, dress so awkwardly fashionable, what for? Nothing. Simply, nothing. 

And from this very distant place, I found her again, that girl in red skirt and white shirt, she was practicing her reading, being so scared yet brave. And just, so blessed.

1 comment:

Yummi Zahra Sharita said...

What a thoughtful writing, Fidy! Didn't expect it coming from you haha

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