Thursday, January 3, 2013

Thin Inspiration

I have GERD. Well, not only me, maybe these models have GERD too. I had a heartburn attack this morning. I knew my stomach acid was already attacking  my throat, as I started to feel nauseous, but I devoured the pain, and went back to sleep. During my sleep, I felt the cramps, they were stabbing me. I remained asleep. seven thirty am, I  woke up and ran to the bathroom,  to push my first waste. I looked at my tummy in the mirror. I  felt, taken. But in a good  way though.

I went back to sleep. The  second cramps started to attack. I remained asleep. I had a dream where I got the chance to hold his hands, and rode roller  coaster together. We  were with my friends, we were in love. He held  my hands, and he smiled at me. Yet, I could still feel the cramps. But I controlled myself, and I stayed asleep, dreaming with him, traveling in that beautiful  recreation park. And people were jealous. I was jealous of  myself  too. And people started to hate, and we hugged, but he left. And I woke up, at ten am.
I ran to the bathroom and  pushed my second waste. I  went back  to my  room, to work out; lifting weights. After  working out, I started to tidy my bed,  sweep my room floor, getting  rid of the dust, pulling  up the curtains, and stuff. Then  I  started to feel  my second  nausea. So  I went downstairs, grabbed  4 small slices of  macaroni schotel, and ate them all, like a starvation victim. I made myself a cup of hot tea after. The nausea had gone.
I went back to upstairs, twittering. I found out that this stupid region of my country has just banned women for straddling on motorcycles in accordance of this improper position.
I complained on my twitter, how tacky my country is. and nobody noticed. Then I decided to take a shower, and watched tv  after.
I was watching tv for  hours, didn't even touch the snack. I was watching Gridiron Gang. I enjoyed the gang fight scenes so much. I enjoyed them more than the rugby..  I mean the american football scenes. Mum then asked me, "Have you had your lunch?"
I said, "Yes I have". Lied to her.
Bored, I decided to make a cup of hot coffee, again. I've always  known coffees make it easier to lose your waste. Besides, coffee makes you happy.
Mum never allowed me to consume diet pills, nor diet milk. And I respect her  rule, so I have never taken those. But I buy diet snacks still. Sometimes she even buys me some, like Fitbar, Litebite, diabetic biscuits and stuffs.
Dad took a sip on my coffee, but still, he spared me 3/4 of it. I drank it just now. I know I will be attacked by cramps, heartburn, and nausea tomorrow, but still I wouldn't swallow a rice, or that bit of chicken curry in our  dining room.
Yes, I have a target. I'm trying to lose 10 kilos this month, and I'll try my best to stop swallowing foods.
But I have my limit. When the stomach acid is blocking my breath, I will stop starving. Or when the cramps are taking  over my stomach muscles, I will stop  starving.
 But as long as I feel fine, and I'm sure that I can get through this, that means I'll get through this. Everyone has chances to be pretty. I'm taking mine. And  I'm working on it.You should take yours too. But remember, that limit is needed. Only you can decide when it is, and when you finally reach it, stop it.
Have a great diet everyone. Don't lose yourself to the starvation.

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