Monday.

Get ready, I'll be haunting you. So you'll stop haunting me. 

Noir by (X) S.M.L in Plaza Indonesia Fashion Week

After being excited for weeks, I have finally found my way to attend Plaza Indonesia Fashion Week 2013. PIFW is actually an annual event, held by the awesome Plaza Indonesia. Before, I have actually attended a Nylon Fashion Festival which was actually held in Plaza Indonesia, but Plaza Indonesia didn't wholly organize that event, so I thought PIFW must be way too different from Nylon Fashion Festival. And yes, it was so different. 

I got the Invitation by following Plaza Indonesia's twitter. and one day, they tweeted about getting invitations from the operation manager of the "Noir by (X) S.M.L" fashion show. I was sooo excited I texted my friends to request the invitations so we could go together. They were also excited, but none of them came due to the undetectable problems. So I asked my sister, Tsabita, to accompany me to that annual event.  

I have attended few fashion weeks before, like UI Fashion Week, Indonesia Fashion Week, Jakarta Fashion Week (Even though I didn't get the chance to seek a fashion show in JFW). And none of them... I mean none of them offered free drinks and snacks. 

I was just sitting with my sister, and people were like hanging out nearby the bar. And I thought they were buying drinks, until a waiter, came to me, and offered me a tiny choco lemon biscuit with almond top on it. And I thought, "oh damn, they're free."

I can never control myself for free things. No way. I didn't even think about self image or dignity issues that I have, so I took the biscuit, and took this awesome strawberrish tea.

For free, for real. 

One of those things I love about my sister, is her polaroid camera. It successfully took pictures of me, her, us, and some woman models. 

When I was signing the guestbook, I saw two models just showed up from the lounge room. 

I thought, "damn that lady is surely a woman version of Monas." (Cause she was so tall, way way taller than me.)

And I told my sister, "Let's take pics with the models."

And she was like, "Okay, sure."

But none of us began the action, until those models were about to leave... So I hurried myself, and approached them. Like a little fan girl, I asked them to take a pic with me and my sister. And they were like, "Oh okay..."

The brown skinned one seemed to be soo excited as the film coming out from the camera, and kind of showing the pic slowly. 

We gave two frames for them. 

The collections were amazing, they were elegant yet chic, and so amazing. The designer didn't attend though. But the manager did. Some journalists actually approached her as the fashion show finished. Fashion people came to this show so proudly, with amazing clothes. some would just sit and watch, some people like me, would take pics of it. some would just record and see, some would just take pics of themselves narcissistically during the show.

Before heading home, We also took pictures on the photo space. Yep, I wore a tutu. Actually I wanted to wear this blue skirt I bought, but the skirt was temporary missing, until last night. I found it under seat of my car. I was like "whatthefuck" but, I was grateful cause I finally found it. 

Before the show starts, the organizers actually gave us a catalog of the noir collections, and they also gave us a 250.000 IDR shopping voucher in (X) S.M.L.

I didn't expect that at all. That's probably the biggest shopping voucher I've ever had hahaha. 

So Anyways, thanks a lot Plaza Indonesia, and (X) S.M.L for the lovely event. Thanks a lot to mum and dad who willingly drove us to the Plaza Indonesia. And thanks a lot to the models whom I and my sister talked to, it was so nice meeting you. And thanks for my sister herself, for patiently taking pics of me, and thanks for her polaroid camera, love you so much. hehe.

I am looking forward the next events. Thank you so much for the precious experience. Stay awesome everyone.

Love,

Fidy<3

Ah.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Jadi gue baca puisi yang ditulis Sheila untuk Torey, sekali lagi. Dan perhatian gue itu masih stuck di bagian "Meninggalkan aku ditengah reruntuhan permainan, tanpa tahu yang mana yang harus dikenang, dan Yang mana untuk sekedar bersenang-senang." Dan sampai sekarang, dalam kehidupan gue pun bingung, mana yang harus dikenang, mana yang sekedar untuk bersenang-senang. 

Whatthefuck.

Okay, I have been working on my diet since like, December. I remember my target, 45 kilos. And I actually reached 46 kilos on March 19 2013, then the school started on March 20, and they held this health test on March 22, and guess what? I turned 48 kilos in two days. My fat is 25.6%. So around 12 kilos of my body are useless fats. This is kind of annoying. 

I have just realized, having a diet without doing physical exercise isn't gonna make it work. Cause once you stop, the food will hijack your empty space (what you make on your diet term), and you'll be fat in one day.

So like, I'm so frustrated. It seems like my 3 months diet is just a waste of time. But yet, I'm still grateful I have reduced 2 kilos of my fat, since I was like 50 kilos on december. but still...

From now on, I will be doing my diet plus doing exercise equally so I won't be just sick skinny slut, but I'll also be fit. Amen, 

Fashion

Honestly, I don't even get why, I even began to consciously define the word Fashion, as it just has too many meanings. And talking about intellectual opinion, I am probably not the right person to define the word. But tell you what... I started to put myself in "fashion" circle in fifth grade, as I had already subscribed to this fashion magazine back then. And that was probably the first time I ever learned about fashion. When we were just kids, our mother would teach us how to wear clothes, how to match them together, how to look okay in front of people. For me, fashion is an art. Okay, that's my first definition. Fashion is an art, the point of fashion is beauty, creativity, immaculateness, thoughts of inspiration being sent by appearance. Fashion is a thought. A precious thought. Fashion connects the thoughts and the actions into one perspective. Fashion is an adaptation form of being, developed. People adapt. People develop. Fashion develops. It won't die. Fashion is eternal, and infinite. Happy Sunday people

Annoyed

Wow, so like, everyday's April 1st for me since people can't settle the fuck down for me.Be nice, jeez.

Oh Mama, I wanna go shopping

That feeling when you dress so pretty to visit your favorite shopping center, and then you find something you like, then you start to take out your cash from your wallet blatantly like a boss, then you hand the money to the cashier and they'd put the money inside it. and the sound of how the cashier machine opens, cha ching! and they'd hand you the bag containing something you have just bought, and you feel the rope on your hand, you can still smell the new clothes aroma like a delicious meal. Then you walk out of the store so proudly, you're now the owner of the stuff you bought. God, I love shopping very much.

Dreams and Acid

Hello folks. If I were obliged to be a drugs addict, I would consciously addict myself to the marvelous Lysergic acid diethylamide, also known as LSD, also known as the most awesome tripping facility. This is a must tripping equipment for me. I've been quiet interested of dream power and soul traveling recently. I asked my uncle who studied hypnotherapy about astral travels and lucid dream. He said that I must be able   to lucid dream first to be able to soul travel. Soul travel can be accessed by sleep paralysis, google that. It's actually a torturing thing to feel, but being able to astral and go around the world without passport is such a priceless thing that can't even be comprehended by anything. However some soul travelers couldn't go back to their bodies cause they're too far to reach, and their bodies would be hollow, and they will rot. Crazy. I've  been interested to the LSD is because I want to experience the feeling of funny mixed hallucination and hearing echoing voice, and seeing similar shadows with the thought of living or dreaming. Damn.

Kesal

Ketika tangan ini mampu memberi makan mereka,

Ketika mata ini melihat seni Tuhan yang berharga,

Ketika mulut ini bercerita pada manusia yang berbeda,

Ketika telinga ini mendengar alunan melodi gembira,

Ketika tubuh ini dibalut gaun mahal sutera,

Ketika lidah ini mencicipi beragam hidangan raja,

Ketika rasa bahagia itu menyapa

Jangan harap kau boleh disana, merasa

The Refrain

I've heard enough the refrain.This is a song; me and you. I thought it was all you and me, writing verses, with funny rhyming ends. Until you brought me to the refrain, the climax that you let yourself wrote. It wasn't as funny or as expected as my rhyming verses. The refrain you gave to me...was decourageant. It's not artistic or beautiful as I have expected. It was like a toneless rap refrain that actually made a shocking teary reaction full of disappointment. I've heard enough of it. You don't have to give me visions to understand it as I was seeing what I was hearing. So now, I am finishing the song... Living in the interlude silently, until our song finally stops.

Berbeda

Kusapa angin lalu, mungkin itu aku yang dulu. Kata-katanya begitu.. menyekik, membuatku menggigil, tetapi leherku terasa panas hingga kepala. Saat amarah itu di ujung ubun, hanya air mata yang tersisa. Diam sesaat. Ku cari lagi kemana angin itu. Sudah pergi rupanya. Sudah selesai rupanya. Tetapi samapai saat ini, aku masih mencari. 

Why.

"Oh look at them. So small. So tall. So delicate yet so strong. Oh I wish I could be just like them. How come they stay so flawless, without such pains and discomforts. why, so real. How could they be so genuine? What did they eat? What clinic do they go? How much do they work out? Do they starve? For how long, though. Why, in the hell why can't I be like them? So small, so tall, so delicate, yet so strong..."

Roller Coaster

I finished reading this indonesian book, "Perjalanan Rasa" or "The journey of feelings". the book actually described many feelings for me by making me feeling it. so the whole reading wasn't about defining all those feelings, but it was actually about feeling the feelings. I remember one of those journeys... where a girl insists a certainty from a guy. I talked to my friend last night. and she has this abstract problem with a guy. The guy asked her, "Do you think status matters?"

Whoa. Stop right there, dude. That's just so mean.

They've been going out for months, being all sweet and caring for each other for months, and still expecting that no one can fall for feelings for months? It's a sad thing. It's a mean thing to do. It's like feeding those jews with burgers from mcdonalds back in world war 2. and right after they feel completed and full, you, just like what nazi would do, burn her in an airless room where no one can find out. 

It's not right. Women, they don't insist "status" or whatever people call it. Women, they insist a fixed opinion, a fixed value about how their partner feel with them. They just want a certainty. Because honestly, no one wants to live like riding a roller coaster; feeling so excited when you bring her up, then just like a naughty wind, you let her fall with anxiety and excitement, and curiosity, and you leave her, all tired. But you're just too nice in the beginning, so she'll take another ride. Roller Coaster.